What the hell is a gadget?

For a little while now, I haven't felt like I've known who I am. I grew up in Essex, studied Psychology at university, moved to Leicester to be with a boy and, nearly three years ago now, moved back down to Surrey where we have set up 'home'. In October 2013 we had a beautiful baby boy, Charlie, we got engaged and the three of us live together, with Smokey, our crazy cat.

Last year, I did something that I have always dreamed of doing. I set up my very own business, The Sole Collections; designing and creating bespoke, hand painted shoes. It's still a huge work in progress but it's definitely heading in the right direction. I'm getting orders, I've had an incredible amount of support and I've even started to earn a few pennies for the Topshop fund! But, there is one thing getting me down. I'm just not that confident on a computer, or anything technical for that matter. Since last Summer, the background on my phone has been a terrifying selfie of my younger brother, simply because I don't know how to change it. I've always liked putting pen to paper so to start a business from nothing, in a society that relies heavily on networking and social media, has been more than challenging. 

This morning, I had a bit of a meltdown. My workspace was camoflaged by my ever growing 'floordrobe', my creative ideas (scribbled on post-its) had fallen off the notice board and all I could see was a jenga-style tower of shoes, boxes and paints. I didn't even know where to start. It was one of those moments where you are forced to remember that the internet is in no way a reflection of real life. Last week I was posting photos of my newly organised wardrobe on Instagram, claiming I was a changed women! I was going to sell all of my things on eBay and everything was definitely not going to end up back on the floor...

So, how has this girl, who can't use a computer and can't get organised, suddenly ended up creating a blog? In all honesty, I don't know the real answer to that question yet. I needed to rant, I wanted to better myself and I was desperate to learn. And what better way then to throw yourself right in at the deep end...it may have taken me all day, but I've managed to link my Instagram account with the text above (oh god, I hope it works now) and I am ecstatic! Knowing that I managed to do that all by myself just makes me want to continue. When I logged on this morning I was out of my depth; clicking random buttons in the hope that something would fall in to place, furiously googling every single word that I had no idea the meaning of. At one point I accidentally fell on to a page written in code and I thought that my laptop had crashed! Whilst it may sound like I have completely lost the plot, there is method behind my madness. I am determined to make The Sole Collections all mine. I want to be able to look back in five years time knowing that I created all of this, I want to be able to reflect on my journey and I really want to discover who I am again. 

Being a complete perfectionist, I wasn't going to post anything on here until it was finished but then I just thought, why not?! I'm only human, we make mistakes, we learn from them and from that we grow. That is The Sole Collections. It's a work in progress, just like my half painted trainers on the living room table and just like this blog. So, I'd like to take you all with me and give you a glimpse into my life as a mum and as an artist, all I ask is that you bear with me. 

Next challenge, find out what a gadget is?!